Ismael Cruz Cordova

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega
Ismael Cruz Cordova
Ismael Cruz Cordova

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega
I have been in survival mode for what seems to be most of my life
I grew up in a place with very little, if nothing
Not fitting anywhere because of my class, my race, my physique
My interests, the way I moved, the way I talked
I've always had to fight and survive — and I set a goal and
From one thing to the other, to the other, to the other again
I reached for the stars
And I landed in New York
And there, from couch to couch, from home to home - not mine - homeless,
Still reaching for the stars, still surviving, still reaching inside my deepest self, mining for energy
And always finding somehow, always finding a magical source that kept moving me forward
Despite all of the odds
Forward, forward, forward, surviving, forward, moving, forward, unflinchingly
Almost stranger than fiction
My own superhero, to myself
And as mathematical as life can be, I put in a lot into life
And slowly it's been giving me back
But I've never stopped surviving somehow
Society, this business, being an actor, trying to make it in this world
Trying, you know, for a latino man
Still so many elements to myself having to make me survive in this world
Never stopped
And then corona hit
I never knew how profound that would be
I didn't know by this point that I was just jetting forward consistently
Now with this stop, I found myself again
Perhaps not completely  
I become enlightened and I will be floating, like one of those monks in the park
But somehow I didn't realise that under the survival my voice had been buried
Under all the of the tactics and waves and tricks and tips
Strategies to be able to breath and survive and provide for myself
My voice, my magic, my colours
Were buried
And this isolation, this silence, this distance from everyone
At first drove me insane
But as it went, it introduced me to me again
I was able to connect to the oldest memories
I was able to journey back to the source of it all
To this magical moment of ignorance, in which I knew what I wanted clearly
I did not know how to get there, but boy I knew
And I had an unending source of strength, through sheer belief and imagination
I was stronger than I had ever been and I was maybe three years old, four years old, five years old
So I found this time around has been the incredible opportunity to connect
The most simple essence of myself
And through that, I feel empowered like no other time in my life
Or maybe like then
And I feel like I'm starting to feel magical again within myself
I'm starting to feel like I can hug myself from inside
Like I can soothe myself
I've shown up again for myself in ways that I had abandoned because I had to survive
That's the most special thing that has happened
I've connected back with my life force
Now I don't have to survive in the same ways
Now that I didn't have to move when I was forced to stop
And this stillness - oh boy - what a fire has it ignited
I don't know if so much ignited, but rekindled
And I'm ready
Ready for what's coming, and I know I'm not alone
I know this time really opened a lot of entrances to caves
A lot of wells a lot of minds and mines
So here we come
Here we come
Not all is lost
I have been in survival mode for what seems to be most of my life
I grew up in a place with very little, if nothing
Not fitting anywhere because of my class, my race, my physique
My interests, the way I moved, the way I talked
I've always had to fight and survive — and I set a goal and
From one thing to the other, to the other, to the other again
I reached for the stars
And I landed in New York
And there, from couch to couch, from home to home - not mine - homeless,
Still reaching for the stars, still surviving, still reaching inside my deepest self, mining for energy
And always finding somehow, always finding a magical source that kept moving me forward
Despite all of the odds
Forward, forward, forward, surviving, forward, moving, forward, unflinchingly
Almost stranger than fiction
My own superhero, to myself
And as mathematical as life can be, I put in a lot into life
And slowly it's been giving me back
But I've never stopped surviving somehow
Society, this business, being an actor, trying to make it in this world
Trying, you know, for a latino man
Still so many elements to myself having to make me survive in this world
Never stopped
And then corona hit
I never knew how profound that would be
I didn't know by this point that I was just jetting forward consistently
Now with this stop, I found myself again
Perhaps not completely  
I become enlightened and I will be floating, like one of those monks in the park
But somehow I didn't realise that under the survival my voice had been buried
Under all the of the tactics and waves and tricks and tips
Strategies to be able to breath and survive and provide for myself
My voice, my magic, my colours
Were buried
And this isolation, this silence, this distance from everyone
At first drove me insane
But as it went, it introduced me to me again
I was able to connect to the oldest memories
I was able to journey back to the source of it all
To this magical moment of ignorance, in which I knew what I wanted clearly
I did not know how to get there, but boy I knew
And I had an unending source of strength, through sheer belief and imagination
I was stronger than I had ever been and I was maybe three years old, four years old, five years old
So I found this time around has been the incredible opportunity to connect
The most simple essence of myself
And through that, I feel empowered like no other time in my life
Or maybe like then
And I feel like I'm starting to feel magical again within myself
I'm starting to feel like I can hug myself from inside
Like I can soothe myself
I've shown up again for myself in ways that I had abandoned because I had to survive
That's the most special thing that has happened
I've connected back with my life force
Now I don't have to survive in the same ways
Now that I didn't have to move when I was forced to stop
And this stillness - oh boy - what a fire has it ignited
I don't know if so much ignited, but rekindled
And I'm ready
Ready for what's coming, and I know I'm not alone
I know this time really opened a lot of entrances to caves
A lot of wells a lot of minds and mines
So here we come
Here we come
Not all is lost

Monologue:
Ismael
Cruz
Cordova

The Lord of the Rings • The Undoing • Berlin Station • Mary Queen of Scots • Ray Donovan

Photography: Val Vega
I have been in survival mode for what seems to be most of my life
I grew up in a place with very little, if nothing
Not fitting anywhere because of my class, my race, my physique
My interests, the way I moved, the way I talked
I've always had to fight and survive — and I set a goal and
From one thing to the other, to the other, to the other again
I reached for the stars
And I landed in New York
And there, from couch to couch, from home to home - not mine - homeless,
Still reaching for the stars, still surviving, still reaching inside my deepest self, mining for energy
And always finding somehow, always finding a magical source that kept moving me forward
Despite all of the odds
Forward, forward, forward, surviving, forward, moving, forward, unflinchingly
Almost stranger than fiction
My own superhero, to myself
And as mathematical as life can be, I put in a lot into life
And slowly it's been giving me back
But I've never stopped surviving somehow
Society, this business, being an actor, trying to make it in this world
Trying, you know, for a latino man
Still so many elements to myself having to make me survive in this world
Never stopped
And then corona hit
I never knew how profound that would be
I didn't know by this point that I was just jetting forward consistently
Now with this stop, I found myself again
Perhaps not completely  
I become enlightened and I will be floating, like one of those monks in the park
But somehow I didn't realise that under the survival my voice had been buried
Under all the of the tactics and waves and tricks and tips
Strategies to be able to breath and survive and provide for myself
My voice, my magic, my colours
Were buried
And this isolation, this silence, this distance from everyone
At first drove me insane
But as it went, it introduced me to me again
I was able to connect to the oldest memories
I was able to journey back to the source of it all
To this magical moment of ignorance, in which I knew what I wanted clearly
I did not know how to get there, but boy I knew
And I had an unending source of strength, through sheer belief and imagination
I was stronger than I had ever been and I was maybe three years old, four years old, five years old
So I found this time around has been the incredible opportunity to connect
The most simple essence of myself
And through that, I feel empowered like no other time in my life
Or maybe like then
And I feel like I'm starting to feel magical again within myself
I'm starting to feel like I can hug myself from inside
Like I can soothe myself
I've shown up again for myself in ways that I had abandoned because I had to survive
That's the most special thing that has happened
I've connected back with my life force
Now I don't have to survive in the same ways
Now that I didn't have to move when I was forced to stop
And this stillness - oh boy - what a fire has it ignited
I don't know if so much ignited, but rekindled
And I'm ready
Ready for what's coming, and I know I'm not alone
I know this time really opened a lot of entrances to caves
A lot of wells a lot of minds and mines
So here we come
Here we come
Not all is lost
Ismael Cruz Cordova
Ismael Cruz CordovaIsmael Cruz Cordova
Ismael Cruz Cordova
Ismael Cruz CordovaIsmael Cruz Cordova
Ismael Cruz Cordova
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