Jan 27

It had to be you

Unless the little Jedi decides to stay in a while longer, this is probably the last set of pregnancy photos for now. Feeling exhausted as hell (two afternoon naps per day is standard now) but still trying to look as best as I can at 36 weeks.

We were in the hospital this week for an external cephalic version. Baby girl had been lying in breech position since forever and hadn’t turned yet. So as a precaution, the doctors advised a version. To have a set of hands turn something inside of you, a 180 degrees, from the outside, while you’re just looking at it all happen — it’s the most peculiar thing ever. But after a minute of hands swirling and digging deep (and I do mean deep) into my belly, she was turned in the right position: head down and feet kicking up. Let’s just hope she stays this way and doesn’t crawl her way back to the top again.

Lightning crotch is serious business by the way. Having a human head drop into your pelvic area, pushing, creating sharp, shooting pains during the day — I’m sorry fellas, but this alone convinces me that no man could ever do this job. 

This week I decided to finally take a step back from work a bit. My body is starting to shut down and I find myself longing for rest for the first time in a long time. So far nothing has been able to stop me from working — no vacation, no husband, no nothing. And then there was you. 

It had to be you.

Jan 20

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Pregnancy leave

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I’m supposed to go on pregnancy leave soon but I find myself looking for things to do constantly and somehow new things get added to my calendar every day (by yours truly, mind you). It's the strangest thing — I know I'm taking on way too much work for the coming weeks but at the same time I feel like I'm not taking on enough to fill the gap between now and my due date. I'm just not the type to sit at home and do nothing. I fear that void!

I do ask myself if every woman needs to go on leave though. I imagine fellow business women have struggled with the same with their pregnancy. Because what if work doesn't feel like work because it's your love and life? And what if perhaps checking one task off the list is equally satisfying as resting at home to other women would be?

Sigh. Perhaps one of these days someone just needs to throw away my laptop and phone so I can properly start resting.

Don’t do it though. I might stand up and fight you — with my menacingly tiny fists and all.

But seriously, please don’t do it.

I'm ending this note with a new collaboration we shot for Chanel, which will go up soon here. Creating this series was extremely satisfactory and I daresay it gives me the most peaceful and tranquil feeling just looking at it.

Jan 16

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Hello 2023

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We're two weeks into 2023 and so far I've spent the year mostly on bed rest. It's certainly not the best way to start the new year. Every year I like to reserve the first week for reflections on the previous year and start planning for the coming one. As an INTJ, planning is where I get a lot of energy out of. But while in bed, there was little for me to do but rest, do some last-minute shopping for the baby (necessary or not) and rewatch Grey's Anatomy for the umpteenth time (first eight seasons only). I have the utmost admiration for people who are able to properly rest, because I have a hard time sitting (or lying for that matter) still and doing nothing. So me on bed rest is mostly me in bed, on my phone, strategising and adding a shitload of thoughts to my notes folder of things I have to do after recovery.

This weekend when I started feeling a little bit better, I finally gave into my nesting instinct. At 34 weeks I figured, maybe it's time to start setting up the essentials. I've prep-washed all of her clothes, steamed and folded everything up neatly in the drawers. I've sectioned her clothes by month and color (coordinated in my favourite neutrals mind you). I've thrown away a shitload of my own things in order to make more room for the little one (because that's what mothers do right?). And I've made every room in the house cleaning, feeding and sleeping time ready. A minor feat to some but for someone not used to doing chores around the house, a major accomplishment.

At 34 weeks I also find myself feeling excited for labour. Not that there's anything exciting about pushing a whole human being out of your nether regions — but just the pure joy of getting to experience something as beautiful as the birth of your child.

We're so ready for her arrival.

Now that I'm feeling slightly better (apart from some unfortunate pregnancy headaches and nausea), expect me back here again, sharing my mischiefs and whatnots, pregnancy-related or not.

Hello 2023 — I'm back.

*Insert Eminem's Without Me*
*Insert clip of me with shades and a track suit, bouncing to Eminem's Without Me*
*Insert clip of me laughing to my absurd bouncing on Eminem's Without Me*