Pregnancy at
30 weeks
This pregnancy has been a different kind of journey. With Rosie, I felt light, strong, empowered. I felt like I could take on the world—I worked until 38 weeks before I finally surrendered to rest.
This time, it feels heavier in every way. My belly is growing faster than I ever expected, the fatigue lingers no matter how much I sleep, and the shortness of breath follows me through the day and into the night. Some days I feel ready to start my leave already. Other days, I count it a win if I’ve simply read through my emails. And for the first time, I’m seeing stretch marks—small but undeniable reminders of how differently my body is carrying this second pregnancy. I didn’t have them the first time, so I never bothered with prevention. Now, we’re well past that stage. Add to all of this a toddler running around, asking on repeat “what’s this?” or “where’s that?”—and there are days when keeping up feels nearly impossible.
And this is only week 30. To think I still have 10 more weeks to go. I don’t know how much my 5ft body can still grow or hold. Somebody send help.
Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s me being too hard on myself.
Still, beneath all the discomfort, there’s something that steadies me: gratitude. Not the kind you say out loud to make yourself feel better, but a deep, unwavering gratitude. Gratitude that I get to walk this road again—because there was a time when we thought it might not happen for us. Gratitude that my body knows how to make space for another little life—that miracle deserves lifelong respect. Gratitude that I’ll soon get to hold her, love her, laugh with her, make memories with her—the same kind of happiness I already receive every day with Rosie. And I can hardly imagine the wonder of experiencing it all twofold.
Writing this, I realize how often we are too hard on ourselves. We forget to give ourselves grace. We forget to give ourselves space. But we are literally growing life. A new human body, made up of 37 trillion cells, all forming quietly inside of us. They don’t make themselves—our bodies do.
And that in itself is extraordinary.
Photography & writing: Igrien
Wearing: Junya Watanabe, Uniqlo, Chanel, Dior
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